A normal part of human development is learning through trial and error. All kids need guidance to learn what we call "pro social" behavior, or in other words, ways of relating to others that are generally socially accepted. But how we teach our children has a huge impact on what they learn not only about behavior but also about themselves and their relationship to us. Shame is a tool of dominance and often sneaks its way into our parenting via generational trauma or cultural pressure. While it c